A Jewish Girl's Letter to Santa
From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com Dear Santa, Chag Sameach! That’s kind of how we Jewish people say “What’s up?” during the holidays. So…you’re probs wondering what’s with the Hebrew talk and why is someone with the last name Epstein emailing me? But I figure you’re an equal opportunity kind of guy, so hear me out. I called my mom...
Friend 1: I'm doing a cleanse this week. I ordered from BluePrint while completely drunk. Woke up to find I had spent $300 on juice. Fuck my life.
Friend 2: I'm cleansing, too. I'm going to try really hard not to drink this week. Which means I can have wine.